Why cant i control my emotions? I always let my imagination, my feelings control me. This is not the first time and everytime u take control, it really feels like knife piercing through my heart one by one. I feel i am like the only one against the world, nobody will ever think of my existence, This is pathetic and scary! :( I really dunno why i cant help to control my feelings right now. That i burst into tears, I think its just all adds up to these. After all, how do i face it? I am such a failure, such a useless piece of shit. Cant handle things, cant control life. Cant have the desired control. Everything lies in me, every single problem. If u are wondering who, its me. I dont deserve ur pity, ur sympathy. I wish life can be over again, then i would live a brand new life. But now, i just wish i could die. And go to heaven to join jesus, becox thats my real home that only he will adores me and i will live in peace that i cant get on my eartly home. Dont ask me why,what how. I am really not feeling good, and i dunno how long i have to recuperate to get back to the usual me. Maybe 1 hour? 1 day, 3 days, 1 week?
In short, i wish i can just die, But its not as simple as it is. I cant just die. I have my family. Thats it.
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